Trigger warning- Raw and honest post

Two years ago, my anxiety peaked, as my son is now the same age as I was when I was sexually abused. I have started to reflect and replay the events of the trauma often in my mind. I have wrestled with the want to fully understand what happened, why it happened, and what actions my family members took when they found out what was happening. I remember being in my son’s room talking to my sister about the past, and all of a sudden, I felt a flooding emotion of intense anger, panic, dread and a sense of helplessness which caused my heart to start pounding. I couldn’t breathe. This triggered a panic attack. My mind was racing, and I was catastrophizing every thought around my son being sexually abused instead of me. As a parent I unfortunately understood the long-lasting impacts that abuse can cause a child.

I would think back to times when my abuser was sexually abusing me. When I would plead with him to stop. These images are lasting in my mind. They are embedded. When my anxiety is present, I think about all the what ifs? What if that was my son? What if that was my son in an abuse cycle? I would think that my son was there instead of me, my son asking him to stop, my son being powerless that my abuser was doing these repulsive acts. My thoughts could send me spiralling based on my childhood trauma.
My childhood trauma has taught me that the effects of abuse are long-lasting. I have also found that triggers can come and go at different stages of life without any warning. My son, now being my initial age of abuse has brought back memories and images that have been forever etched and cannot be erased from my mind.

As a parent, I see the positive impact of being proactive and teaching our children that their private body parts are not to be touched. Parents and carers need to teach their children to know that they can talk to them no matter what situation they are facing and that there are no secrets. As without this education it can be very difficult for children to approach their parents or a trusted adult.
I believe that the foundation for our children and anyone going through difficult times is connection. Connection and a sense of belonging is critical if we want our children to thrive. Strong research and evidence supports that consistent and positive connections are related to positive mental health and well-being, especially in times of trauma.

I implore you to educate yourself and children about being body safe, this needs to be repeated and reinforced.

I am excited to share that I have created Body Safe Cards that I will be releasing soon, these will be available on my website. I have developed these to ensure that they are easy to use, I have added sentence starters to help guide vital conversations.

Remember the greatest gift you can give to children is your time and attention.