I didn’t know daddy

“Stop! That’s a train track” my wife and I said, raising our voices at our daughter. “Why did you go so close to the train track, it’s dangerous?”

“I didn’t know daddy”.

We went to the football as a family, my daughter has never been to a train station. She only has ever read about them.
Later my wife and I reflected, how was our daughter to know what is safe and not safe at a train station? How did we expect that she would just know what to do and where not to go around a train station? This is no different to expecting children or even adults just to disclose their worst fears.

We teach our children that we need to share, take turns and that we need to use our manners, and we give lots of reminders about this.
Although that’s all very important life lessons, what is just as important if not more, is teaching our children how to explicitly share their worries (small or big) to have the ability to communicate what they are so scared of and how you respond can either support them to continue disclosing or potentially delay this for months or years.

Back to the train tracks, I shared with my daughter that she did nothing wrong and that next time mummy and daddy will tell you what to expect. If we go somewhere new, we explicitly teach our children if they get lost, who to look for, we share that strangers can be very helpful, we teach not about stranger danger but about strange behaviours. Remember over 90% of sexual abuse cases happen from a person known to the child.

We reinforce and repeat about their private body parts and clearly what they need to do if someone touches them there and if this is repeated. I will have Body Safe Cards for parents and carers to help educate children around being body safe.
How you prepare and respond to your children in different situations can be the difference between them communicating with you how they are feeling or bottling up their emotions.

T-I-M-E is love- make the time, our children deserve it.

Remember, the greatest gift you can give to your children is your time and attention.