I saw a psychiatrist for 2 years

I saw a psychiatrist for 2 years and I still did not know how to disclose my worst fears. I eventually disclosed tto my mum and all I was worried about was being believed as I first said, “you believe me mummy you believe me mummy”.

You do NOT need to be a professional to support disclosures, you need to have connection and a sense of belonging.

Being sexually abused at any age can have huge negative impacts on the overall mental and physical health of a person.

The younger a person is that has been sexually abused the more likely a person will have some mental health challenges as they get older. With this information, we need to ensure that children get the support and help right away. There is plenty of research to suggest that the impact on the child’s brain from abuse is so great that we are still learning about this.

From my research, the more the brain is in a state of flight, fight or freeze mode the more hyper vigilant the child will be as they get older. This can create intrusive thoughts, which can bring on anxiety and other mental health challenges.

My behaviour as a child started to change and get worse as the abuse continued. I tried and tried to tell some family members what was happening to me, I could never find the words. So how did I communicate my worst fears? By having meltdowns, displaying challenging behaviours and demonstrate that I would be des-regulated a lot of the time. I was not trying to be “naughty on purpose”.

It’s important to understand the impacts that abuse can have on children and how to respond to behaviours of concern that they may display, for example:

If a child is yelling/screaming, less is more, try not talking as much and keep your distance. Role model some repetitive behaviours such as walking, jumping or bouncing a ball (repetitive movements can be a strategy to self or co regulate.

If a child is being aggressive, again less is more, keep your distance and share with them little sentences like “I am here to keep you safe”.
If a child is anxious/worried, drawing, colouring or reading can be helpful
If a child is alarmed that’s when talking can be helpful.

Always try to redirect to reconnect.

Teaching children values, life lessons etc is always best when they are calm, not when they are not regulated.

Staying calm and regulated yourself is very important.

Remember every behaviour is a form of communication

It is your responsibility as the adult to role model the behaviours that you want to see, not the child’s.